The Sneaky Inner Critic

As a mindfulness teacher (and a recovering perfectionist), I am quite familiar with the inner critic - the judging portion of our mind and body that sits back and assesses our effectiveness, our achievement, our productivity, our weight, our parenting, etc., etc, - and often, our worth. 

What’s been fascinating to me as I grow my familiarity with the inner critic is exactly how “sneaky” it is.  

The more time I spend with this portion of myself, I see it more frequently in my own life and I see it coming out in so many ways with the people I interact with.  

And it pulls at my heartstrings.  

This sense that 

“I shouldn’t feel this way” 

“Why am I letting this bother me”

“I’m doing it wrong” 

“I should have known better” 

This unrelenting critiquer of all that we do, think and feel.  

What’s been interesting - and inspiring to me -is that my response to these situations and thoughts is no longer a shrill “GO AWAY” - it’s a real sense of compassion for the pain it yields.  And a real sense of compassion for myself that this has been the echo in my mind for so many years.  

My mindfulness practice was the entry point into seeing these thoughts for what they are (i.e., just thoughts, real but not necessarily true) but it wasn’t until I really doubled down on my self-compassion practice that my heart opened with the capacity to hold this critique and this pain with a very gentle sense of presence.  

So, while my knee jerk reaction is still to push away or numb when the critic rears its head, I’m intentionally, and gently, practicing turning toward it and holding it with a kind heart.  

I’ve shared before the impact that a self-compassion practice has had on my mindfulness practice. 

My hope and wish for you today is that you, too, can begin to love yourself in a way that honors who you are, even when the voices in your head are clamoring for what you can do better.